Balance

As a breeder, balance is a concept that I think about often: balance in angulation, balance in proportions. As an acupuncture and chinese medicine convert, I often find myself thinking about balance, too: the balance between yin and yang, between fire and water (the elements most prominent in my personality). As a cancer survivor, I focus on balance, too: the balance between doing the things that I need to do…..and finding the time to take care of myself.

I can’t wait for the month of January to be over. Every box on my calendar is full and, while the month has been full of trips, house guests and activities that I enjoy, I long to get back to routine. I want to stay home and reorganize my life…..to simplify my life. I’m physically and mentally exhausted by the hectic pace of the past few months….and trying to balance responsibilities with the physical recovery needed following my surgery in October. There are so many things that I need to do, so many e-mails that have been left in my inbox….but my priority now is to rest and heal.

I felt good when I got up yesterday. I was able to go to the gym and work out for the first time in several weeks. When I rode the bike, my stamina was not what it had been but I was able to ride for 30 minutes at a moderate pace. When I got home, I ate lunch: an egg, half an english muffin and two pieces of bacon. I had overeaten and soon felt very sleepy, needing to lie down for a couple of hours. I was lethargic for the rest of the day and felt guilty about not accomplishing more.

Today is another day and I hope that I can find some balance today between responsibilites and taking care of myself.  I need to pay bills, sort through a huge stack of mail, reply to e-mail, clean house, do laundry, groom dogs……then drive into Seattle for a doctor appointment followed by a kennel club meeting…..getting home around 10 this evening…..

…..in my spare moments, I’ll dream about lying on a beach in Hawaii….

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One thought on “Balance

  1. I understand how you feel. Although I did not have cancer, I don’t know what you went through with that. I have had many changes, starting with adjusting to Galahad, who is now such a loving, sweet beagle, but jolted my life. I seem to have lost myself, and need to find how to get back to a balanced life, where I find time for me along with all the other things I have to take care of and do. If you have insite into how to do this please do share.
    Take care, rest and be well.

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